Fetish?? Gimme a Break!

Okay folks - my first post of March 2008!

Boy, do I need to get this off my chest. It has to do with language and how people use it against us. I'm thinking of the "F word." No, not fat. It's "fetish."

"Oh, isn't that a fetish??" some people will ask, when talking about a man who loves full-figured, plump women. "Is he one of those freaky fetishists?"

Sadly, sometimes even BBWs themselves will ask this. I say "sadly" because when they do, it's a sign to me that they may have internalized society's contempt for them. I say "contempt" because in English-speaking America, "fetishist" is not a complimentary term, generally speaking. It's often used as a putdown - a polite way of saying "weirdo." When I hear a BBW-lover being described as a "fetishist," I believe it's a dismissal. It's a way of dismissing a person's sexuality or diminishing a person for his sexual preference. Just like when people use the term "queen" to describe an effeminate gay man.

Now, I must be honest: It is true that some guys DO have an unusual and exclusive obsession with overweight women. That and only that will satisfy them sexually. I would agree that that condition deserves the term "fetish."

But I think there are many more who simply enjoy the look and feel of a soft, voluptous feminine figure. We have dated thin girls before and still admire them, but our preference is for heavy, thick rubenesque women: Wide hips. Big Asses. Big busts. Thick waists. Double chins. That's what's sexiest to us, just the way some guys are crazy about blondes. They enjoy the feel and look of silky, blonde hair running through their fingers... and they do their best to date or marry an attractive blonde.

Funny - in this country, no one ever says "Does Larry have a blonde fetish??" - do they? Of course NOT! But if you look at the world's population, it's overwhelmingly dark-haired, dark-eyed people. Look at the billions of Chinese and Indians and Africans and Arabs and Indonesians, and so on. 99% of the time, you won't see any native-born blondes among those populations. Same with respect to the southern European population in places like Greece and Italy. Simply put, the overwhelming majority of people around the world are dark-haired and brown-eyed.

What's my point? That blonde-haired women are just a tiny, tiny, TINY fraction of the world's women and if anybody is crazy about that as a dating preference, then THAT man should be labeled as "abnormal." Or "unusual." And if you want to be mean or snippy about it, you could label him a "fetishist."

See what I mean? But we don't do that, do we? Because society has trained us to see blonde as attractive, right? Well, all around the world, plump and rubenesque figures are seen as attractive too. So we shouldn't be labeling BBW-lovers either.